My parents had a true unwavering love. They gleaned happiness out of each day of the 52 years that they were together, spreading that joy to their family.  Even in times of sorrow or just tired from dancing through life, they leaned on one another in a beautiful way that I have never seen in any other couple. My dear mom had a quiet deep-seated patience with an acceptance of others in a nonjudgemental manner. She exemplified genuine kindness.  I am continually amazed by my dad! His friendly charm and knowledge about many things have taught me to be curious and optimistic about life and reminds me to seek understanding.   

I have heard the story of how my parents’ courtship began many times over the course of my life, but never has it held as much emotion for me as it has the last time I heard my dad recount it. 

As a child, the details were missed by me.

He has always had a story, and has always had an uncanny recall of even the seemingly smallest details. Lately, it seems he cannot get his stories out fast enough.  Here is my favorite:

He began by a funny tale of his 1st drunk, therefore his 1st hangover at the age of 18 while attending a work Christmas party for his brief stint at the Bank of St. Louis. Being a greenhorn, he did not know what to order at the bar, but as a youngster he had swept out the floor at the local tavern for pocket money and often heard the men order whisky and rye on the rocks. (Rock candy).  Thus, that is what he ordered. When asked what he wanted to chase it with he not knowing any better said, 7 and 7. Didn’t take long before he was found “flopping in the parking lot like a fish, throwing up”. 

The next day, still feeling like death warmed, over he wandered into Woolworths in search of a Christmas gift for his mother.  The candy counter sales lady was a striking brunette.  She asked him if he had any girlfriends in school. In his hurry to escape the beautiful woman and not desiring to embarrass himself he said no.  Turning away and striding to the exit with his purchase he began to recall a sweet little girl in 4th grade he had had a fondness for.

Quickly, he made a bee-line back to the counter and said, yes, there was one girl in 4th grade.  She asked him if he was Bob Heatherly.   She told him her name, Jeannie Pharris.  The same little girl he had given a special Valentine to in 4th grade.  He had given other girls in the class a card, but for her he chose a different one. 

That night he went home and told his mother about meeting Jeannie Pharris at Woolworths. His mom went into the closet and pulled out a Valentine card from his 4th grade. It was the one that Jeannie had given him.  His mother had saved it because of what that little girl had written on it.  “Save this until you are older.”

He could not get Jeannie off his mind. In March, he went back to Woolworths but they were closed for inventory.  He banged on the door, until it was brusquely opened. He asked if she was in there, and his heart leapt when she came towards him with her beautiful smile.  He asked her out on a date, but his heart fell when she told him she was dating someone else.

Still, he could not get her out of his head.  While at the dance halls and night clubs cavorting and having a great time, he compared all the ladies to Jeannie.  He was smitten and continued to pursue her.   Finally, they had a date.  She brought with her the Valentine that HE had given her.  They had BOTH saved the Valentine from that year…. having tossed away the many others received over the years. Even at that early age, they had each felt a strong connection to each other!   

We said goodbye to her on February 14^th, 2009. Valentines Day holds a mixed bag of emotions for me, signifying a loving life full of hope and light, as well as reminder of how dark the day can turn.

DJ Heatherly