Silas At 6!

Big brother enjoying a moment with his little sister, while vacationing in Montana. Summer 2021
To our sweet boy on his birthday - loving thoughts from his Grandma. 

Silas has an insightfully funny personality who is quick to read the emotions of others as well as express his own, at times with gleeful abandon, and other times with a controlled reserve.   I love his happy, silly dance moves, his feet stepping lightly at such a quick light brings my energy level up x10!  And I cherish the quiet moments when he wants me climb up on his bunk bed to read Shel Silverstein and talk about poems before bed.  

A brain like a sponge, he absorbs every tidbit of new information and locks it in like a steel trap.  He is a baby elephant, retaining even complex ideas.  He knows the rules of chess and is a brave player, making bold moves.  He craves learning and creating.  His parents began nurturing his ability to learn at a very early age, checking out EVERY book at the public library and reading nightly.  In any given week I could walk into his bedroom and find baskets of new books to explore. This boy has a vocabulary better than some adults!   These days he prefers to create scenarios on Mindcraft over reading, but his parents keep a sharp lookout for using too much screen time.  And Legos…. Silas knows Legos!  Use caution when entering his room as the floor is covered with creativity. During the Presidential election last year, he and I had a timed contest to see who could build the best White House. He won.   He has a monthly subscription to KiwiCrate, which is a STEM kit.  We have such a good time putting them together, and I am always impressed at how he follows each step of the project carefully.  I pray he never looses interest in learning.  

Starting school during a global pandemic has been fraught with emotions and challenges.  Silas has the advantage of his young age and not having had much experience in a school environment but still he felt the stress of remote learning.  Before classes started in the fall we were playing poolside when he told me with grown worry in his little voice, “I can’t do what my mom and dad do’”.  They have both worked remotely for quite some time.  I did not know what he meant, however as the conversation went on and his tears emerged, I realized he was very worried about using a computer.  His parents eased his mind with their patience and their availability to be nearby while he gained his confidence.  I have often said that I would like to be a fly on a wall in my children/grandchildren classroom; remote learning gave me an occasional glimpse of him interacting with his teacher. He has done well at remote learning for Kindergarten and is good listener and quick learner.  I overheard the Letter-Of-The-Day while he was at class/laptop at my house.  The letter was ‘U’ and Silas said “Ukulele, its like a guitar, only smaller.  I have one”.  When his teacher said she hopes he will play for her one day, a shy, worried smile lit across his face.  The simple things like that make me smile.  In January 2021, school was open for in-person and he was so happy to be back, making new friends.  He is definitely a social guy who loves to laugh, make up jokes and play.   He is learning soccer; it is sad to see the littles on the field wearing their masks, covering up their cuteness, however they do not seem to mind and treat it as business as usual.  He has also started Boy Scouts recently. 
 
I am very proud of how Silas looks out for his little sister, and as Hadley is growing and becoming insistently verbal (that girl just has to be heard), I see that he sometimes HAS to tune her out, but somehow she is always in big brothers radar.  I know the two of them will always have a tight bond.  She watches her big brother’s every move, and she is going to be as curious about things as he is.  

Silas is a joy to be around.  He is seldom cranky but when he is, it is always brief.  If he is upset with someone or something he quickly curbs his attitude.  Truthfully, I have never seen him have a tantrum, even when he was younger.  It is remarkable.  The only times I have seen him upset is if he feels his older cousins are making fun of him or ignoring him. He wants so much to be a part of their teenage conversations/actions.  It breaks my heart to see his little feelings hurt, but I get how Dylan and Devin need their space too.  It is all a part of learning to cope, and I know they all love one another; the age differences will one day work themselves out.   

I foresee a future of Silas continuing to make us all proud, bringing all our lives laughter and wonderment with his inquisitive spirit and happy personality.  

Love, Love!

Grandma

May 3, 2021

Ethnocultural Empathy

Our society is comprised of people from an array of cultural and ethnic backgrounds. However, unfortunately, we are far away from being a successful pluralistic society. Although some integration happens spontaneously, a pluralistic society is one that acknowledges, allows and accepts the cultural diversity of its citizens. Multiculturalism is an ideology. The term refers to salad bowl or melting pot. Critics of multiculturalism often debate whether the multicultural ideal of nonthreatening, co-existing cultures that interrelate and influence one another, while remaining separate, is possible, logical or even desirable. It is argued that cultures who would previously have had a distinctive cultural identity of their own, lose out to enforced multiculturalism and that this will ultimately erode the host nations’ distinct culture.

In a political context, the term multiculturalism is used for a wide variety of meanings, ranging from the advocacy of equal respect to the various cultures in a society, to a policy of promoting the maintenance of cultural diversity. The politics of today limit an honest discussion of multiculturalism. Leaders will only express what they think their audience of the hour will want to hear. The heated debate about immigration reform has been ongoing for decades, and yet it continues with no real solution. I disagree with the idea that people do not need to integrate with the society in which they immigrate to. I do not think that you can set up your own little country inside of another, with differing laws and extreme values. Immigration should be examined and laws implemented in order to aid both the immigrants, as well as the host country. I think outreach action from communities to accept immigrants into their neighborhoods is crucial as well, in order to help them become and feel more integrated.

The Census Bureau predicts a shift in the composition of the U.S. population. With an estimated yearly influx of 1 million legal immigrants, there is an equal number of illegal immigrants entering the United States each year. The overwhelming majority of immigrants, both legal and illegal, come from the Third World. Another factor which will radically change the ethnic composition of the population — a factor given less attention by the Census Bureau — is the differential birth rates of the various groups involved. It is quite likely that, given current trends, the European American will find himself in a minority long before 2050. This would suggest that the United States of 2050 will be America Balkanized, an America without Americans, an America in which citizens will identify with their minority status and forget about the nation as a whole. This is due to three of the four major population blocs will constitute visible minorities: European Americans or Whites, African Americans or Blacks, Asian Americans or Yellows, and Hispanic Americans. These four blocs will be relentlessly political, locked in a struggle to determine how the increasingly scarce economic goods and natural resources are to be distributed to each group. Can a nation so wracked by internal struggle long endure? History suggests not.

The September 26, 2011 issue of Newsweek, on page 48, titled “Marry or else!” by Michelle Goldberg, there is a quote by former Associate General Counsel of the United States Immigration and Naturalization Service, James Walsh, who gives the opinion that the Balkanization of America is underway. I wonder, is this just fear-mongering? Walsh states, “Immigrants devoted to their own cultures and religions are not influenced by the secular politically correct facade that dominates academia, news-media, entertainment, education, religious and political thinking today,” He further states, “They claim the right not to assimilate, and the day is coming when the question will be how can the United States regulate the defiantly unassimilated cultures, religions and mores of foreign lands? Such immigrants say their traditions trump the U.S. legal system. Balkanization of the United States has begun.”
In an interesting decade-long study by Harvard professor of political science Robert D. Putnam, showed how multiculturalism affects social trust. He surveyed 26,200 people in 40 American communities, finding that when the data were adjusted for class, income and other factors, the more racially diverse a community is, the greater the loss of trust. People in diverse communities “don’t trust the local mayor, they don’t trust the local paper, they don’t trust other people and they don’t trust institutions,” writes Putnam. In the presence of such ethnic diversity, Putnam maintains that we act like turtles. The effect of diversity is worse than had been imagined. And it’s not just that we don’t trust people who are not similar to us, we distrust those who do not look like us.

I think the humane and moral solution to ease the fears, and thereby aiding in a greater understanding of all peoples on this great earth, has to begin with teaching individuals cognitive and behavioral ethnocultural empathy. This should be done at an early age. Once children understand the physical differences with other groups, they then are able to become aware of the perspectives, experiences and attitudes shared by other ethnic groups, and finally develop the ability to take the perspective of other ethnic groups. Using cultural empathy as a “learned ability” may prove to aid in conveying an accurate understanding and more peaceful interaction between the mosaic peoples of the world. Using cognitive, affective and communicative processes together, perhaps we can probe for deeper insights, find similarities, and help to accept our differences.

Traditionally, empathy is roughly defined as the intellectual ability to take the role or perspective of another person and/or an emotional response to another person with the same emotional display. Increasing research found that people usually hold different levels of empathy toward different individuals based on perceived psychological similarities, such as ethnics and culture. Particularly, people usually feel more empathetic towards individuals who are in the same ethnic/cultural groups as they are than those who are not.

Ethnocultural cultural empathy has been used in many other research areas such as racism, feminism, multiculturalism and ethnic identity, and is sometimes applied in cross-culture and/or cross-ethnics analysis. Degrees of ethnocultural empathy were reported to vary by demographics and societal factors. Previous research indicates that women are more likely to report higher level of ethnocultural empathy than men. Non-White individuals are found to have significantly higher levels of general and specific ethnocultural empathy than their White counterparts.

The doctrine of multiculturalism encourages passivity and limits intellectual discussion, and poisons perception. The mere idea that we believe that cultures should coexist without problem, does not eliminate the problems of coexistence. Blind rhetoric is not a substitute for solution to problems, so a more practical approach that is focused less on kind words and more on the best practical results, is the best. Pragmatism wins when it is at conflict with ideology, and different situations require different practical solutions. In my opinion Social integration and Social Blending is a superior alternative. But, can we create one culture that can embrace new customs?

Donna J. Heatherly

 

The Three R’s; Respect Reduces Racism

Imagine how life for millions of people would benefit from a more tolerable, empathetic, open minded society. If I could snap my fingers and change ONE thing on earth what would it be?

The ONE influential area that is the foundation for global unity is in the sphere of education. All children would be shown kindness, taught proper manners and instructed in household chores at home from the earliest age, instilling in them strong morals for empathy and a desire for self-discipline. In primary grades the schools would include mandatory subjects such as Geography, Culture, World History, Science and World Languages, as well as the tried and true Three R’s: Reading, Writing and Arithmetic. As these children matured they would then be challenged with more intellectual topics such as Ethics/Morals, Politics, Theology, Environmental Issues, Psychology, and Social Sciences. I may be dreaming, but by the end of high school these children would have been educated in several languages, and have attained an appreciation of cultures across the globe, gained knowledge of not just the United States government history, but also a clearer understanding of the politics of other countries.

I imagine how better off the world would be without racism of any form; for intolerance of another persons’ religious views and pure evil to come to an end.  Think of it! A world of productive citizens living on this beautiful planet, and all of them free of judgments, jealousies, greed and resentment, which in turn ultimately lead to hate. This idealized society of the world would be bound together, working for the greater good of all of mankind and striving to protect our dear, fragile Earth.

Perhaps with this start, all the varied societies around the world would be more open and accepting of each other’s values, both religiously and politically and have a more meaningful, honest and productive communication with one another.

Awards would be given more for competence in the area of academics, as a motivation to produce great thinkers, rather than placing such high importance on sports. Naturally, in this idealized world, the media would concentrate their efforts on highlighting those events such as academic achievement, discoveries in science and successful charities, rather than placing celebrities on a pedestal. Criminals would not receive more than 10 minutes of airtime, just enough to get the word out. I say make public the names and faces of great thinkers, problem solvers and profound artists on the front pages of magazines and newspapers!

Time would be more well spent on working on solutions for world peace, to end global warming, reducing poverty and advancing efforts to cure fatal diseases, rather than dreaming of ways to make more money to pay for homes that are too large only to impress. People would gain respect in society because of his value in the community via volunteer work, raising generations of moral citizens, etc., rather than the kind of car he drives. Less time would be spent sitting in front of the tube watching reality shows. Think of how bored we would be, watching those sorts of inane television programs, if we were a more intellectual humanity. Of course the Arts and sporting events would be enjoyed with great appreciation and pleasure.   True artistry and phenoms would be regarded with respect and admiration, held in high esteem, but not too loftily.

Imagine if all the people of the world could garner such an education and realize the true purpose of their short existence on Earth.

Donna J. Heatherly