It isn’t right

To build custom homes then need to uproot every 2 years.

To say Purple People Eater each time I wear purple. 

To need to feed our dog every time you put something in your mouth…

Or every time you leave or enter the house.

To say you are worn out and do not want to work any longer, and yet

To work for free for a family member for years.

To sell an RV and still owe 13,000.

To divorce your love due to financial stress.

To then buy a smaller one.

To drive it to Florida in the winter because there is plenty of handyman work,

But you don’t want to work.

To play the victim of your own circumstances.

To buy a small condo and have the same mortgage as a custom home on a private location.

To tell the same stories over and over about a past your current wife had zero to do with.

To raise your hand like a gun with road rage at the driver going by who pissed you off. 

To sleep most of the day with seasonal affective disorder; and not seek treatment.

To wear torn denim and stained 20-year-old T-shirts to meet a client and bid on a job.

To say if I look poor maybe they will pay more.

To play online poker for hours without winning real money.

To only be capable of feeding our dog, unable to prepare a meal for yourself.

To be oblivious to hints.

To have no natural curiosity.

To never lock doors yet carry a pistol when traveling.

To insist on keeping the RV cabinet door open for dog treats so they don’t get hot, yet

To not care about your own human food in the adjacent cabinet.

To continually use the same adjective – “pretty”… Grand Canyon, Tetons, Gulf of Mexico. 

To shit 5 minutes after gorging on a big helping of seconds.

To always fail to put in new trash bag when emptying trash can.

To not know your partners eye color after looking into them for 4 years.

To go down on all fours to kiss your dog good morning and good night.  Every day, every night.

To forget your best friends’ sons’ name.

To be so embarrassed about your family that you do not care about their whereabouts.

To avoid important topics with your daughters for fear of conflict.

To feel more comfortable with, and crave, small talk over deep conversation.

To state the obvious so often that I become numb to anything you say.

To not brush your teeth while camping.

To desire sex every day and yet make no effort except pout.

To think I do not love you anymore if sex isn’t as often as you want it.

To have no desire to search for a movie or new show.  Instead watch HGTV or House Hunters.

To act drunk after one small marguerita and drive 90 MPH in a 45 – “I feel the need for speed” on a family vacation in Jackson Hole –

 nearly slamming into a vehicle ahead of us who had stopped for wildlife.

To never grill yet have to have the same pellet grill/smoker because buddies all have one.

To tell me you still love me a year after divorce and state the longer we are apart the more you miss me.